It's eggs - RPLOG

Participants

• Bleu
• Fenris
• Junes
• Richard
• Willy

Date

20/3/2022

Log

(Fenris) The meeting point is an easy trip from the bounty board, just up a couple flights of stairs and into a large storage area near the science wing.

An irate looking man in a well fitted business suit stands tapping his toe and constantly checking a very expensive looking watch. "Well?" he asks, "Where are these 'specialists?'" He frowns at a rather hefty looking man in a janitorial jumpsuit who just shrugs and leans on a pallette mover.

Beside the pair is a rather sizeable stack of cardboard boxes on a pair of pallettes, each neatly marked with a green leaf stamp and a crayon scrawled address.

(Richard) Okay. Has anyone here seen The Ring? If so, you're looking at that movie series' antagonist's fat twin sister.

It's all water weight, I swear.

A mist-shrouded, swollen female yokai walks into the storage area and pulls aside her damp hair on account of not actually being some VHS monster that can see perfectly through her draping 'do. "Uh... is... Promethean Studies referred me up here. Is this part of the testing for this form, or...?"

(Bleu) A naked wolfboy pads into the room a few minutes later, his tail wagging a bit as he looks around the room. "I was told "Advance Geriatric Studies 101" was supposed to be in...here... Uh, excuse me, dude? What th' hell is goin' on here?" He looks confused.

(Junes) walking a tad awkwardly you see a feline that resembles the night sky walking slowly inside and asking "hey uh us this the specialist spot i heard about?" looking over everybody in the room casually

(Fenris) The janitor starts to respond to the two lost agents, but the man in the suit cuts him off.

"About time you layabouts showed up!" he scowls, "I am supposed to be leaving for a golf game in less than an hour! Now! Get to work! I need all these packages cleared so I can get going." He folds his arms and taps a toe in agitation, frowning at the stack of boxes and at the operatives intermittantly.

The boxes in question seem innocent enough. They are clean and well packaged, though a close inspection reveals that a number of them seem to be... ticking?

(Richard) Golf game. Right. Well, he's on his way to a Back Nine of some kind or another, and the wet woman of the well is on her way towards the boxes. She leaves a trail of wet floor behind herself, probably to the janitor's dismay. At least it's /just/ water. "I don't know what you'd be doing here for Geriatric Studies," she says to the wolf in passing. "Unless this is some kind of cross-departmental thing? Does Zephyr even have geriatrics to study?" And to the abyss lion, "I have no idea. Prommie Studies just sent me here to... I dunno, see how well this form lifts with its legs? Half the time I swear they just want me to parade around for voyeurs, I swear..."

She's the first one to the stack of boxes, and the first to pick one up. The ticking in her box in particular is muffled by the cloying mist around her, and the carboard doesn't take too well to the damp environment as she hefts it up. "Where am I going with this thing?" She asks the apparent supervisor/country club member.

(Bleu) Bleu humps. "I'm not sure I could explain exactly what the Geriatric Studies are for," he quips, whilst staring at the sharp-dressed man. "Dude, do I look like a stock boy to you?" But, regardless, he approaches the boxes, and starts to sniff at one, his sensitive ears perking. "This box is...ticking. Dude, is this a bomb?"

(Junes) rolling her arms the feline lifts a box following the wet lady shrugs and asks "since were going to be workig together mind if i get your names? im junes and im sure this job wont be too hard!"

(Willy) as they others begin their inspections, A large water dragon that looks a tad familiar to sub enters the area. "Umm...I was told there was needed help with sorting packages?" the Dragon says as he sees others working on stuff, and meanders over to an untouched box, waving a bit of Bleu and Richard.

(Fenris) The executive snorts and flaps a hand at the pile of crates. "I don't know," he growls, "Make sure they won't explode or whatever it is you do! God! I was told you were professionals!" There is a visible vein pulsing in his forehead.

The janitor gamely follows after Richard, forsaking his pallet mover for a mop and bucket from a corner of the storage room.

Not all the boxes are ticking. But the ones claimed by the group all happen to be tickers. The boxes are all pretty much identical, unmarred cardboard, carefully taped and stamped with a big green leaf. Each has the words "For the Zephyr Egg Heads" scrawled on one side in what appears to be green crayon. The dampness of Richard's hands seeps into the cardboard, but does not seem to really do much damage.

(Richard) "I'm Richard. Rachel, if you prefer," The damp and comparatively diminutive woman says to the towering star-cat. Then she notices the janitor following her and gives an apologetic grimace to him. At least it's not /some other/ fluid, right?

Ticky boxes are seldom a good sign, unless you're ordering a batch of pre-wound alarm clocks. Richard looks at the cardboard container in her arms. "Forget the ticking. What's the address on this thing for?" She walks back over to the executive to show him. "Sir, a couple of things - I'm a professional *shapeshifter* for the Promethean Studies Department, and have a look at who this box is for." Her mist-shrouded finger points to the crayoned recipient of the cardboard correspondance. "...I hate to say it, but I think you're being pranked."

(Fenris) Bleu's sniffer detects something familiar... something... breakfasty. Eggs? Definitely eggs.

(Bleu) Bleu looks down at his box. "Fuck it, I'm opening this one," he remarks. "I don't care. Eggheads. Ticking. This is ridiculous..."

(Bleu) Bleu starts to tear it open with his blunt claws.

(Junes) seeing the water dragon jubes waves them over with a tail "yep! not sure where to yet but for now just loading up im junes over there" pointing to the sopping wet mutant "thats rachel or richard" tail darting to the other person a wolf morph "and thats well hmm i didnt catch your name but what do you they call you two?" junes asks the wolf and water dragon

(Willy) Willy looks over the box in curiosity hearing the ticking and prods the box a bit. Hearing Bleu's outrage, he looks over and sees whats happens before he tries to crack it open himself.

(Fenris) "Of course it's a prank, you soggy misfit!" the executive shouts, "Those stupid raccoons have been trying to get to our scientists for weeks! I've had to monitor all incoming and outgoing mail, phone calls, and personel personally to make sure that no peabrained grunt got hoodwinked by the stripy tailed bastards! You're here to find out if this is a threat or if it is just garb-"

His tirade is cut short as Bleu's claws make short work of the packing tape on his box. Inside is a carefully packed carton of approximately twenty four large eggs and one ticking egg timer with a smiling tanuki on it.

The wolf boi has only a moment to look at it before the timer starts to ring loudly! After a moment, about a quarter of the other boxes start to ring as well!

(Richard) Richard hadn't had the time to look over at Bleu's boxcutting in between lines of beratement by the supervisor, only time to notice the sudden cacophany in her arms that spreads to the nearby pallet.

First impression: oh fuck.

She throws away the box, eyes wide with alarm. Eggs? She doesn't know what's in the box, just that there's something in the box from stripy-tailed bastards that may be a threat or a prank. Who are the stripy tailed bastards in question? No time to identify them, only time to ACT.

Second impression: If this is a bomb, she's not in a form to survive it, and neither are the janitor or the executive.

PROTECT. That's the only thought she has time for as she rapidly becomes... something else? She appears as a futuristic sci-fi suit of armor in a flash, diving for the country-club-bound executive and hastily stuffing him inside of her outer shell, then grabbing the janitor and curling up around him with her back to the pallet. Was this even remotely close to the right move? Depends whether it's a threat or just literal garbage. Or compost, as the eggs may lead it to be.

(Bleu) Bleu stares at the contents of his box as all those egg timers go off en masse. "Eggs? Seriously?" He frowns, and *peers*. "This has Fenris written ALL OVER IT," he mutters. Honestly, that's the only tanuki he knows, so that's the default he falls back one. He does a cursory glance through the box to make sure there's no dynamite or blasting caps hidden under the eggs. Just to be safe. That's a good idea, right?

(Junes) Junes eyes go wide with ticking and seeing richard pounce to protect the two and while putting down the down the box in an emoty corner gathering boxes to the point junes quickly asks the suit "hey! are these dangerous? and if so how do we deal with them? if not im fine with extra work to cover this!" Junes shouts while still carefully scrambling to put the ticking eggs into said corner

(Willy) Willy eeeps as the hears the timers, and goes to pick up his body and was about to turn to take it outside when he lets out a sudden "Errrruuuugh" and his balls suddenly expand to gigantic propoertions pushing stuff out in front of him and knocking him over on top of them. He lets out a stuggled moan before working to get back up with all the added weight in front of him and struggles to move the box. As he struggles his stuff shirnks back down and he lands on the floor "Owwwww....stupid...tacos" he says, as he gets up and tries gather as many boxes as he can and turns for the door.

(Fenris) There is no explosion, unless you count the explosion of profanity from the Zephyr executive as Richard transforms and envelops him in mechanized PROTECTION. The janitor only yelps a bit as the mecha suit thing wraps him in a protective embrace, and holds very still. Seems like he's had more experience with mutants than the raging exec.

The ticking, ringing timers all go silent after about ten seconds, then there is a hissing as some sort of glittering, golden gas streams from the visible egg timer in Bleu's box and through the seams of all the closed boxes.

The gas fills the room, streamers of golden glitter swooping cartoonishly towards the nostrils of everyone in the room, though they swirl rather uselessly around Richard's noseless helmet face.

The world takes on a pleasant golden tinge and everything seems so very nice. Wouldn't it be nice to just curl up and relax?

The stacked boxes all on cue suddenly sprout little stumpy legs and hop off of each other, their tops popping open as they form a pair of lines. The newly mobile boxes start to bob up and down as music pours from their open lids:

"What's that cooking on the griddle? Whipped up and beaten? It's eggs! (It's eggs! Whoo!)" they sing.

(Richard) Okay. Not a bomb that goes kerpow. Just one that goes FSSSSSht. Worse? Possibly. "We need to get out of here!" Robo-richard vocodes aloud, waving her free hand in front of her face to dismiss whatever these streamers are. Her other has the janitor by the collar of his uniform, and is outstretched towards Bleu to grab him up on her dash for the door. In her panic, she seems to be fully expecting this to be some kind of whimsical World War 1 gas attack.

Typical Pre-Nanite survivor. You tell them 'if you see something, say something' for seven years and it sticks with them for the rest of their life...

(Bleu) Bleu coughs, gags, and drops his box after being sprayed directly in the face by pure, unadulterated Whimsy. He falls back on his butt, not at all aware of Richard making a grab for him. It's all kind of a haze of dancing (and singing) boxes, and, what the hell, Bleu can't help but join in. "What's that cookin' on the griddle? Whipped up and beaten? It's eggs! It's eggs! Whoo!"

(Junes) after the streams disappear junes sees the merriment and feels like suprise would be the right feeling now but after seeing what nanites have done for years isnt that suprised and asks "hey dragon dude you alright?" and unceremoniously grabs two eggs one green and another yellow curious about the size and possibly species

(Willy) Willy cougs a bit as hes accousted with likely several eggs. Shaking his he lets out a "What the heck..." he goes, his mind struggiling with the calming gas as he looks at the egg bots. As he looks with some groans his balls grows agian, reaching to a qaurter his bodies size. With the sudden extra weight he falls over with a groan as he struggles from the drowsyness and the extra weight.

(Willy) Willy "Errrrf" he goes as he hears Junes comment "Umm...no I can't say with the gas and this...issue" he says as he struggles.

(Fenris) The Janitor is absolute dead weight, giggling and humming along. "huhuhuhmmm eggs! Whoo!"

The executive is still swearing and beating at Richard from the inside, apparently protected from the gas by his living suit. And he does not seem even a little grateful.

Large eggs from inside the boxes sprout little legs that erupt from within. Bird legs, lizard legs, frog legs and a myriad of others. They start to dance about with the boxes. "Throw some fixings in the middle! So good for eating! It's eggs! (It's eggs! Whoo!)"

The oversized eggs in June's hands do not sprout legs, instead, they start to grow, becoming strangely fluid and engulfing the lioness's hands! They feel warm and cozy, and the song is so nice!

(Fenris) Other eggs start to roll from boxes toward the prone Bleu and Willy as well. A few even roll toward the fleeing Richard and his charges.

(Richard) There's no way that Richard could lift, or even drag willy. He's too large, even without his... biological predicament. Junes is a similar size and made of solidified spacetime. Even if they weren't getting swallowed up by an egg, they're a lost cause. Bleu is... he's struggling. The person inside of Richard is struggling for an entirely different reason. The janitor may already be too far gone.

The words that Richard tries to get out of her entirely metaphorical lips are, "Cooperate with me or we're not getting out of this!"

What actually gets said is a dulcet, almost pre-recorded "You are being rescued. Please remain calm."

Her passing grab at Bleu fails to connect amidst his dancing. [Sadness coefficient increased by .85] Taking what she already has in both arms, she thrusts her micro-jets in a mad dash for the door!

(Bleu) "Throw some fixin's in the middle! So good for eating! It's Eggs! It's Eggs! Whoo!" Bleu continues, as in entranced. He looks up at Richard as the latter fails to move him, and there's a blue egg rolling right against him, and it starts to engulf his feet.

(Junes) Junes attempts to crack a few eggs against eachother but in a turn of suprise they merge together into one egg "oh are you?!" junes then sighs and rushes over to willy "alright im gonna help you outta here first then see what to do about giggles after" using swift movements junes attempts to quickly roll willy like a rug to the safety of richard if willy doesnt protest against it

(Willy) Willy works to fight off the drowseyness as Junes comes up to help him. "Umm...thanks, hopefully stuff will abate agian and I can just get up..."

(Willy) Willy works to fight off the drowseyness as Junes comes up to help him. "Umm...thanks, hopefully stuff will abate agian and I can just get up..." he says adjusting to help Junes roll him, flicking his tail a little to try to knock away the eggs thats are crowing him.

(Fenris) "You're the one who will need rescuing if you don't release me THIS SECOND you mutated tin can!" the trapped exec hammers at Richard's chest from within, even as the exosuit mutant slips out the door, towing the drowsy janitor after.

Inside, Willy and June's struggles bring them closer to the exit, but the frolicking and rolling eggs are getting in the way as June shoves the dragon across the floor. Instead of being crushed or pushed aside, the eggs seem to be melting into each other, becoming one very large egg pressed up against Willy's back. The egg wrapped around Junes's arms is also expanding, reaching well past her elbows and slowly starting to engulf her chest.

The frolicking boxes and eggs have formed a circle around Bleu at this point and are just singing the word "Omelette" over and over as the blue egg has swallowed the wolf boi up to the waist.

(Richard) "Caution. Caution. Unidentified toxins in environment. Ejection inadvisable. Caution."

Well, that got the point across. The gist of it was supposed to be "Do you not SEE what is happening outside? What even is that gas?" She's out the door and around the corner, breaking the glass around a fire alarm with her fist as she goes. Once she's finally getting reasonably low 'what the fuck is this stuff' readings, she props the Janitor against the wall and opens up to let the executive step outside.

I very well may have just saved your life, and your schedule. You're welc- "Master caution: cleared. Please proceed to [rooftop helipad] for evacuation to [Fairhaven Country Club]. Have a pleasant day."

...The meaning gets across well enough.

(Bleu) Bleu is happily chanting "Omelette" over and over with the eggs and boxes, as the blue egg steadily covers him. It feels great, though.

(Junes) as junes is kicking along willy the lights in those eyes seem to dim a little figuratively and literal sense as the stars on junes also seem to dim and yawns "man this music is nice im gonna relax here for a bit" is all thats said before flopping down and listening to the song of the eggs arms as splayed out as they can be chained together and looking at the ceiling