Ball Size Parsing
This parsing was created with the idea of clothing in mind. It's a bit repetitive and overt and could probably use cleaning, but it will insert the proper "name" of the size the character's balls are at at the time. This includes rut level in the equation. Simply paste this where you want the "size" of the balls to be.
Ex. "Their pants bulge with the weight of their <parsing> balls."
Parsing below
[if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] >0) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 3)]tiny[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 2) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 6)]small[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 5) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 9)]average[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 8) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 12)]large[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 11) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 15)]fist-sized[end if][if (stat ball size of [player] > 14) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 18)]hand-filling[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 17) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 20)]head-sized[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 19) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 26)]lap-filling[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 25) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 32)]knee-knocking[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 31) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 38)][one of]shin-bumping[or]seat-worthy[at random][end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 37) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 43)]ground-brushing[end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 42) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 49)][one of]unwieldy[or]toe-warming[at random][end if][if ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] > 48) and ([+ [stat ball size of [player]] [* [stat rut of [player]] 2 *] +] < 55)]body-sized[end if][if stat ball size of [player] > 55]unfathomably oversized[end if]
