April Fools Tanuki Delivery - RPLOG

Participants

• Arthur
• Fenris
• Texy

Date

3/4/2020

Log

Something is up at the Zephyr building. Security guards are swarming everywhere, and scientists and corporate types are all hurrying around looking worried. No one will comment, but someone has definitely kicked the hive. Out around the back of the building, an inconspicuous bush is definitely not watching all the craziness with interest, and it definitely does not contain a tanuki looking around furtively for the backup he hired....

A black ooze, its shiny surface betraying it's latex material, is attached to the back of the Zephyr building above the tanuki. It starts rising out to form a male torso, with something resembling a head turns to look down at him. It asks in a gurbled voice: "Are you hiding food?" As it slowly slides down into the bushes beside the tanuki, then turns to look out at what the tanuki is waiting for.

Arthur was rambling to no end on his situation. He knew this would make the powers send him on a bunch of wild goose chases. Whatever the hell happened, he wasn't informed yet. He kept circling around near a bush, his arms flying and flailing around enough to make an Italian proud, "... And sure enough, it'll be like 'Oh, Arthur, we need you to scout after this and that, don't worry, it'll be super safe!' Suuuuuper safe! Like that fucking time I was hunted by a fucking gang of gun bunnies! Oh, super fucking safe, being shot at like a fucking carnival duck! Oh my fucking god, it's a fucking wonder these fuckheads are still standing!!" The ramble doesn't seem to stop. Given how much he's cursing, it's a safe bet he has very little love for Zephyr. If only he was given a chance to give them some payback...

The tanuki in the bush starts, surprised by the latex blob! "Don't sneak up on a guy!" he gasps, "Oh! But you might be just the person I need!" The raccoon dog also reaches out, seizing Arthur by the wrist and dragging him into the bush. "Hi!" he says pleasantly, "Listen, are you two free? I could really use some help right now." He looks back and forth between the odd pair with a pleasant smile. "I mean, I can pay, I just need help, like, RIGHT NOW."

The large goop gets uncomfortably close to the tanuki, a few drips of liquid latex falling on his back. "I can help, but I'm a bit hungry right now. Is it something I can eat?" It gurbles again, loking up at the two larger forms that are Fenris and Arthur. "I can also store food for later so I don't desolve it yet."

Arthur's rambling is cut off, who the hell was that? How did he miss him until now? Just his fucking luck! Clearly annoyed by his future prospects, the dragon man massages his nose bridge and sighs to see if he can calm himself a bit. "Ugh... Ok, ok, look, I -may- have been less than truthful in some repo..." He stops to properly look at the tanuki and the... Latex thing. Neither looks like Zephyr agents or workers. "What the fucking hell now... Ok, look, I'm not in the mood for a kinky orgy, pal. I just need something to ensure I don't get dragged into "solving"" - he air quotes heavily - "whatever problem happened. Z can go fuck themselves, i'm not helping them." The dragon man also takes a step back to avoid contact with Texy, just in case.

Fenris grins even wider at Arthur's mini-rant. "You are perfect!" he says, "Listen, I may or may not have borrowed something from the building, here. I may or may not have upset a few people doing it. But what we can be absolutely sure about, is that I could use some help moving something." He reaches deeper into the bush and produces two moderate packages, containing food, goods, and interesting trade items. "Discreetly," he adds, "You two interested?"

The ooze doesn't bother answering, it just reaches out with goopy hands and slowly takes hold of one of the packages, drawing it in until it disappears under the surface of the latex. "Not food, but for later. Yes? Where do I take it and how am I rewarded?"

Arthur looks in disbelief at the tanuki. "Look, just because I'm not, uh, a model citizen doesn't mean I'll go in with whatever crazy asshole offer gets thrown at me." He shakes his head, looks away and then back, being hit with some proper reasonable thoughts, "Besides, there's nothing here saying you actually mean your words. Could be a trap to fuck me over. Been there already." Arthur looks at the packages, arms crossed, "Is there anything even remotely of value there?"

Fenris blinks at the pair and shrugs, "It's the best I've got. Unless you would rather be paid in freecred? I can do that too." He produces another box, this one a little larger, about the size of a milk crate. "I just need this taken to the Shinto shrine on the west side of the city," he says, "when you get it there, I can get you food or goods or straight up freecred for your trouble." He rubs his chin and considers Arthur and Texy. "Unless you would rather distract my new friends out there while I make the delivery myself?" He hikes a thumb off toward the front of the Zephyr building where guards seem to be planning search teams.

The ooze does the same thing with the box, pulling it in till it creates a small bulge in the liquid latex. "A shrine on the west side? I think I know what that is, but what is a shin toe? Is it another hole to breed with?" The goop seems to be distracted for a minute as it contemplates.

Arthur takes another step away from the latex goop. That thing is giving him the creeps. He looks back at the entrance of the Z building and how people are almost going mad there. "You son of a bitch." He mutters just under his breath, barely audible, then points a finger at the tanuki's face, "Alright, you better not fucking give me away to Zephyr, or I'll be sure your ass goes with mine!.. What's that, anyway?" He asks, referring to the package that needs to be elsewhere.

Fenris lets the latex thing goop his package, with a little bit of a frown. The box is heavier than it looks. "Just be careful with it," he says, "It was hard to get!" He turns a smile on Arthur. "It is a box that is bigger on the inside!" he says, "With a little bit of proprietary tech that I need to borrow for a little while." He pats Arthur on the shoulder, looks like he is about to do the same to Texy, thinks better of it, and gives the gooey mass a thumbs up. "See you both soon!" he says, then dashes from the bush. The tanuki runs at the knot of security guards and takes a flying leap, leapfrogging over one, and doing a wild little cartoon tap dance across the others, leaping from head to head! Then, once everyone is flailing around and furious, he makes a mad dash toward the north, the guards trailing behind.

The ooze sets out on it's journey, probably the least stealthy being imaginable considering it's shiny and black in broad daylight. But considering that he's latex goop and has the package stored internally he highly doubts anyone will bother him. The ooze is suprisingly swift, flowing around obstacles and around corners.

Arthur thinks about what that box might contain for a while. Tech? Well, whatever it is, it's valuable, if it got Zephyr all worked up like that. Giving the tanuki away would be incredible for his standing, at least for a week. On the other hand, if he managed to get that and is still alive and within the tower's courtyard without being killed, it goes to show that it's better to not get on the tanuki's bad side. Accomplice it is. Just as he was to ask more questions, the damned thief got away! Huffing, he looks at the latex thing. "Don't you dare touch me." The dragon man thinks some more, how is he supposed to bring that latex goop intact to the shrine, since it's now carrying the box? "Follow me. I'll think of something along the way." He walks towards the main gate, looking back to ensure the living latex goo is following and keeping a safe distance.

As Arthur and Texy, still unintroduced to each other, draw near the gate of the Zephyr compound, a security guard, just about to chase off after the tanuki stops and looks at the pair. "Hey!" he calls out, "You! Hold up a minute!"

Arthur holds his arms up and lets out more angry rambling, this time with a dash of bullshit, "Oh, OF COURSE! Of fucking course! Stop the fucking scout just because he's dressed all flamboyant! See that fucking asshole there?" He points upwards to where the tanuki fled, "THAT! Was the fucking reason THIS!" He points very angrily at the latex goop, "Is now fucking free! Just about the only fucking lucky thing to happen to me all day is that this shit here is docile with me. Now I have to go AAAALLLL the way back to fucking New Dawn to get a proper container! But nooooo, keep us here waiting for it to arrive, sure, nobody will notice a FUCKING LATEX MASS trying to eat every female or herm that shows up! Here's my fucking ID!" Arthur grabs his from his pocket, scouting agent, ceded from the Prometheans to work with Zephyr as requested.

The ooze stops, it's male torso rising from the goop to turn and look at the guard. It doesn't say anything, it just coughs up a pair of black lace panties (can't really tell if they were black to begin with or it was the liquid latex that is splattered all over them) which it quickly reaches for and gobbles back up into it's fluid mass.

The security guard looks at the latex goop in disgust as it puts on its, quite frankly, horrible display. "Alright man, chill," he says, raising his hands in a placating gesture, "I'm just doing my job." He gives a worried look over his sunglasses at Texy and shakes his head. "Just keep that thing under control, I guess." Then he turns to chase after the tanuki with the others.

Arthur mimics the guard while shaking his hands in the air, "Chill, man." He throws his hands in the air and stomps his way forward, muttering something about stuff like this happening every damn time, always the prommies having to clean up stuff. At least the guard fell for it. Still, he wasn't very excited on having to, well, babysit the latex thing until they reached the shrine. Once he was out of earshot from any other Zephyr guard or agent, he turned to the living latex, "Alright, that asshole went north, that's one direction we gotta avoid. We better make a northwest move, then go to the shrine from there, make sure nobody's following us."

The ooze follows Arthur's suggestions, surprisingly keeping its distance this time. It stays silent for most of the trip until it asks "I still don't know what a shin-toe is. And you mentioned New Dawn. Is that a place? I've never been there." It stll speaks with a deep and goopy voice but it sounds almost childlike.

The streets are quiet near Zephyr. The commotion in the Zephyr complex seems to have driven the ferals further into hiding. As the pair gets further away, however, there seems to be more activity. "Keeping some kinky company there, friend," a large husky calls from an alley way, his harem lurking behind him, "You two up for a little fun?"

The ooze turns to the alpha husky, spotting the harem behind him. "Sex?" He replies, his goopy body expanding and stretching to tower over the husky like a show of strength. He seems completely distracted from his previous job, like he is about to bound over and claim the husky's harem for himself. "This is mine now."

Arthur stopped and closed his eyes, his hand on his nose bridge again. "It's one of THOSE days, isn't it?" When he turned to properly reply to the husky, the latex goop was already looking very threatening. "Oh fuck! STOP!" He tried, from a safe distance, to keep the latex thing out of trouble.

The alpha husky backs slowly into the alley, hackles raised. "Fuck!" he growls, "It's a crazy! Back up girls!" He does not look ready to back down!

When the husky holds his ground against the goop it stops, like it's contemplating how to get past the husky without touching him. "They are yours?" He asks with the gurbled voice. He then answers himself by repeating "They are yours." and turns to continue his quest to deliver the package, as if he never stopped in the first place. And the entire time the ooze didn't seem to hear Arthur's protests.

Arthur looks at the latex goop as it continues on their way to deliver the thing. Tech thing. Whatever. He slowly falls back, making an "eyes on you" gesture with one hand, pointing at the alpha husky. Internally, he sighs with relief that things didn't devolve into a brawl or an horror orgy. He shudders at the thought of having to shuffle through that latex to get the box.

The husky looks utterly relieved when the goo monster backs off and his harem all come to fawn over their big, strong alpha. After that, things are quiet again in the streets, most of the feral activity cowed a bit after Texy's display.

With the indigenous population at bay the ooze doesn't have any sexy displays to distract it any more, leaving it to continue its path to the shrine. It once again asks Arthur "Where is New Dawn and what is a shin-toe? as it travels through the streets.

With a lot more time to not worry about impending fights or being consumed, Arthur takes the opportunity during the stroll to the shrine to think about just what the hell is going on and what he might be getting himself into. His thought is interrupted for a moment at the question, "Oh, don't worry, I know the way, just follow me." He wasn't too keen on actually giving out directions to that thing and teaching where an aglomeration of mutants are. One left here, one right here, another left here, now straight south, that should be enough to not make it like he was heading to the shrine in the first place. "A shin-toe is... Uh... Well, I think you're better off asking that tanuki fellow. I think we'll find him soon."

It seems like word has gone out about the latex monster in the area. The usual mutant come ons and attacks seem to be absent. But there is something else going on out there. Arthur can't see anything, but has a sense of being watched. Texy is completely oblivious.

The ooze makes it's continuation, it's obliviousness giving no indication that it should slow down or speed up. It feels safe in the knowledge that it is the most threateneing thing ouside and therefore nothing would dare reach into its inky darkness to grab it's cargo, or even know that is where it is.

Arthur has a really bad feeling about that. The only thing that gets him even more nervous is the fact that the latex goop is carrying the important package, plus it seems completely oblivious as to what's going on. The dragon man scratches his head and gives a few directions for the living latex to follow. "Just keep heading that wawy for a while, I gotta check something real quick." With that, he took a different turn, speeding up his pace in the hopes of getting out of sight of anything that he might not have seen yet.

That feeling of being watched fades as Arthur slips away, leaving Texy on his... its? own. After waiting out of sight for a while, he manages to spot a pair of furtive figures hurrying after his latex companion, both of them small and moving quickly and carefully. "Are you sure he was right?" one of them, a shabby looking raccoon guy asks his small, fox friend, licking his lips, "I didn't think you could find that kind of thing outside the labs, or kept in secret places. You think we can really get our hands on it?"

Arthur kept his sight on the pair, pulling his shotgun from his backpack. It's at times like these he reminds himself to get some sort of high power slingshot, something to hit others without the bang of a gunshot or the twack of a crossbow. He did his best to keep his steps and breathing light, human ears perked and aware of all sounds he made, he wanted to get as close as possible to them, aiming well at the head of at least one. He didn't discard the chance of there being others he didn't see yet. You grow paranoid when this kind of work is your everyday bread winner.

It may be that the ooze hasn't even noticed that Arthur is gone, the goo moving at its natural pace faster than people typically walk. It may even get lost now that it is in unfamiliar territory, far from the latex factory that he spawned in. A grumbling can be heard, the ooze speaking aloud "I should have eaten the husky. And then I could have had his women."

The two little stalkers are moving at a quick scuttle, gaining on the latex monster. The small fox mutant shudders when it overhears the ooze threatening to eat someone. "Oh yeah," he says to his bandit-masked companion, "It's the real deal. We finally hit the jackpot. And all the way out here where there's nothing more dangerous than we are! Can you imagine the luck?" Neither of them notice as Arthur comes close enough to spit on them should the desire strike him.

thinks that scaring them just a bit might be the best approach. "Oh boy, I sure can." He replies lowly behind them, shotgun aimed straight at the head of one of them, but he stays far enough that neither could reach him without giving him the split second to pull the trigger. "Now, the two of you, on your knees, or the ground will have a very messy exploded raccoon brain all over it." He keeps his voice low to avoid attracting any other attention. "What's the jackpot?"

The ooze starts leaving Arthur behind, getting closer to his destination. Should the stalkers be delayed by Arthur, the latex ooze will make it all the way to the shrine. "oh, I remember that street. Just a few more blocks." He mutters to himself.

Both stalkers jerk to a halt and slowly raise their hands. "Hey, friend," the raccoon says, swallowing hard, "Listen, we don't want any trouble. Just a couple of guys on a walk. Ain't that right, Jimmy?" The fox nods, "Yeah, Timmy, just goin' for a walk. Heard there might be a. . . a. . . interestin' critter wandering around. Thought we might try an' see it. That's all!" Texy's memory does not fail, and soon the shrine is in sight up ahead!

"Sure, sure. Just two guys going on a walk." Arthur replies, quickly thinking how to best immobilize the pair. He's only one and if he starts anything, the other will have the perfect opportunity to jump on him. "Now, would you kindly lay down on the floor, hands behind your heads? I'm sure you two are very good boys who like their brains inside the head." He glances at the place and only catches a glimpse of where the latex goo went. Hopefully these two won't take too much of his time. After all, he wants his damned reward! And he wants to complain if it turns out it's just a worthless trinket! He does have a single pair of cuffs in his bag, plus some ropes for his kinky hours. Well, that oughta be enough with some creativity. "I'm curious, who tipped you of... This fancy critter?"

Texy is starting to give in to his hunger, deciding to make the last part of the trip faster so he can go home and eat something. So forward he bounds, a fluid mass surging down the road with quite a speed. Maybe there will be food at the shrine? He will ask when he delivers the box.

The raccoon guy licks hips lips and eases slowly down to his knees. "The huskies were talking about it," he says, "Oh god, did you see it? It was perfect."

What is going on here? Both mutants are very obviously very, very aroused as they contemplate the creature they are looking for... what is going on here?

The shrine is being attended by an old tanuki woman in a kimono, sweeping the stairs. She looks up with curiosity as Texy oozes up to the shrine. "Can I help you?" she asks, her voice high and old, but with an undertone of iron.

Texy stops in front of the shrine attendant, reforming his male torso. "I was told by a tanuki that I'm supposed to deliver a box to the shrine? And do you have something I can have to eat? I can eat anything." His stomach gurggles again, and it seems hunger is more important to him than jumping the new woman he just met.

Arthur is slightly confused, but knows all too well that this is the perfect time to completely ignore horny bastards' sexual needs. Never underestimate your enemies. He brings one close to another until he can crouch on the head of one, stepping on the hands and using his weight to keep him immobilized, quickly going through his bag to get the handcuffs and cuffing the second one. With that done, he grabs a piece of rope and starts to bind the other's arms together, first ensuring that one arm crosses with his friend's, so the two will have to be real escape artists to separate. "Remind me to pay a visit to the huskies, then. Loose tongues should get plugged and punished with a hard throat fuck." Arthur hums to himself and decides it might be better to drag them to the shrine. Who knows.

"A delivery?" the old woman asks, "Oh, that is wonderful, dear. And I am sure we can find something for you to eat." She looks around and notes the blob's lack of hands and lack of evident boxes. "And where is this box you are meant to deliver?" The two mutants are rather on the small side, and don't resist as Arthur ties them up and drags them along. "You think we'll get to see it at least, Timmy?" the fox asks his bound up companion.

Texy pulls out the box from within the inky darkness, trying not to leave as bad a mess on it. "Sorry for the latex, you seem to be a woman who doesn't like me giving them messes. And thank you ahead of time for the food." He aproaches the shrine keeper as to follow them. "Do you have a place for me to put the box? and is there something I can eat now? I'm hungry."

Arthur takes a while, but eventually reaches the shrine as well, the two raccoon guys in front. By the time he arrives, he expects that the latex thing has already been fed with whatever and thus left in a more... Collaborative state? Well, he does meet and greet the old tanuki woman with a nod. "Ma'am. I was, uh, ensuring that the package arrived without harm. These two were following us."

The tanuki accepts the box with a frown at the dripping latex. She opens the box to look inside and her eyebrows shoot up. "Wow! He did it! The absolute madman actually got a nanite server out of the Zephyr building." She turns a smile up at Texy. "You wait right there, dear," she says, "A delivery like this demands a reward! I will be right back." She picks up the box and turns to vanish into the shrine, giving Arthur a placating wave. "Just a moment dear," she says, "I'm just fetching your payment. I have some food for your friend and a bit of money for your trouble."

Texy looks to Arthur and sees the two extra guests. He starts reaching for them, asking "Are they food? Do they taste more like female husky or more like margey?" The ooze starts expanding, looking like its about to try and consume the bound captives. and possibly turn them into latex versions of themselves.

Arthur didn't hear what the thing actually was, perhaps for the best, or he'd lose his shit. Maybe it's for the best he doesn't know what he helped, but gossip travels faster than light, so he will learn, sooner or later. Looking at the latex goop, the dragon shrugged, leaving the two in front. "Look, I'm not the nicest person around, but I won't just let you take them like this..." He glances at the pair and how horny the sounded a while back. "Unless you guys -want- this. Then that's on you and that thing... At least, at least wait for the lady to come back and shoo us, please?"

The tied up fox and raccoon, groan and if they were not tied up would probably throw themselves into Texy's latex arm-approximations. "Come on, man!" the raccoon moans, "It is so beautiful!" "So shiny!" the fox groans. It is only a few long, painful, very weird moments of pleading before the tanuki returns with two canvas grocery bags laden with all sorts of good food and a pair of chits for freecred. "Thank you for your hard work dears," she says. Then she looks down at the afflicted raccoon and fox. "Please don't leave your litter on the steps," she says, then turns to disappear into the shrine again.