Knows what step 2 is, but won't tell you.
The Villainous Gnome's body is
covered in smooth, pale skin, with just the hint of a bluish tinge to it. Make no mistake, though:
the unassuming exterior hides untold depths of evil, oozing from each pore and assaulting your nose
with the sickly sweet smell of gnome. His head is typical of your average ne'er-do-well gnome: a
bulbous, plum-shaped nose sits on an equally round and repulsively cute face, while two shifty eyes
peer out from underneath a tall, pointy hat. To add insult to injury, he has a large, bushy beard
sitting about his mouth like the remnants of a recently devoured cream pie. How vile! How evil! Who
knows what depravities he is plotting? His body is horribly undersized, being just about as long and
wide as his head is, like something out of a Sunday morning cartoon. You've seen some horrors the
nanites have inflicted in your time, but the sheer repulsiveness that surrounds him like an aura is
truly mind-boggling. This! Is! Evil! His arms are long for his size, ending in nimble hands and tiny
fingers perfect for getting up to all sorts of villainy and mischief. Steal socks! Hide car keys!
Burn food in the microwave! These gnomish hands, they're capable of stealing the very pleasure from
life itself! His legs are short and stumpy, covered with smooth, hairless skin. Just how does he get
around on things like that? His rump is thick and padded, with plenty of footprint marks all over.
Clearly, he is adapted to deal with being constantly punted, using it as a quick and convenient form
of travel. Such nefarious brilliance, a marvel of adaptation indeed to use another mutant's
defensive tactics to one's own benefit - only one word can describe it: gnomish. A private peek
would reveal that: He has an above average blue-tinged shaft. He has average balls.