Monster Writing Guide: Page 5
Keeping Things Interesting
So we keep things, again, non-technical; And by keeping it non-technical, we come to the golden rule of victories:
Make your victories interesting to read
You might have noticed that the rule ends with 'Interesting to read'. Why the
'to read' part? Well, because the act described by the victory does not
necessarily need to be interesting in itself.
Sounds confusing? Imagine an enemy. An enemy that, upon defeating you, simply
walks away.
"As you lay defeated, the creature turns and walks away."
Well. That's not very interesting. I'll be frank here and say: That's boring. You
fought a fight to the death, and the thing just turns and walks away. To the
reader, that's bland and not very interesting. But ask anybody who ever got
beaten up like that, and they will probably tell you, that it was a very intense
moment that certainly was far from being uninteresting! So let's try to recreate
that atmosphere, while keeping the simple, mundane act of the creature walking
away:
"As you break down, beaten and bruised, the creature holds still. Their eyes simply lower, following you onto the ground, keeping you in their sight. As you lay, ready and vulnerable to that last, final blow...none comes. The creature simply sneers, their expression showing an utter disgust at your weak, defeated form. They elegantly turn on their feet, straightening, before they move away with the same predatory stride and confidence they approached you with, their mercy...or perhaps your unworthyness...leaving you alive but humiliated on the ground."
The very same act, the creature simply turning and moving away. But we have
detail, we have atmosphere, even a little tension there! Naturally the latter
will be gone upon reading it over and over, but first impressions do a -great-
deal when encountering a new critter on the grid. It also shows something else:
The critter's -attitude- and some of its -mindset- be it feral or sane, dumb or
intelligent, humble or proud.
All that from not the action itself, but -how- it was done.
Describe not only what a creature does on defeating you, but how it does it.
A simple rule, but the above example shows how much it can do. Next we'll go
into some do's and especially don't of victories.
Page 1 - General description guideline
Page 3 - The Hills Have Eyes; Your Arms Don't.
Page 5 - Keeping Things Interesting